Lessons from Calvin on Christian Friendship
Scripture | Redemption | Intimacy | Personal Presence | Love
By: Aaron Lumpkin, MBU Campus Minister
If you were to ask someone today, “What is a friend?”, you would receive a variety of responses. Television shows have displayed twisted, humorous, and realistic friendships. From The Andy Griffith Show with Andy and Barney to The Office with Jim and Dwight, friendship created a sense of loyalty and comradery. Social media has transformed ideas of friendship. Friendships develop online and are maintained through posts, tweets, snapsand Instagram posts.
Ideas of friendship will undoubtedly vary from person to person. Some may define friendship in terms of common interests, common enemies, or shared experiences. Movies, sports, video games, books and a plethora of other things bring people together. Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. This has been the case in my life and throughout history.
Like many still do today, John Calvin (1509–1564) sent letters to his friends during the Protestant Reformation. His letters were marked by instruction, direction and concern, but his tone could be harsh, rude and arrogant. For many of us, friends like this don’t last long. Yet with a closer look, we find that Calvin deeply cared for his friends. In fact, he serves as a model for friendships today. Let me explain why.
Calvin’s understanding of friendship had several key components. First, Calvin learned the nature of friendship from the Scripture. Anything not built on Scripture was futile in his mind. Because of this, friendship had to be understood through God and his Word. Second, Calvin understood friendship in terms of redemption. Jesus, who gave his life as a ransom for many, called his disciples “friends.” Calvin wanted to see all people become friends of God through faith in Christ. Third, friendship was a relationship marked by intimacy that was ongoing and accustomed rather than intermittent and unfamiliar. Human relationships were to model God’s relationship with man. The incarnation of God the Son demonstrates the closeness man can have with God. Jesus’ coming, marked by humility and service, sets the trajectory for our relationships with one another. Fourth, friendships involved personal presence. Calvin’s commentary on The Gospel of John suggests that friendship involves personal interaction, much like a bridegroom bringing his friends to a wedding (John 3). Being present (in all its forms) is significant, as there can be little relationship if there is no engagement. Fifth, friendships should be marked by love. Central to this was Jesus’ command to love others as he had loved them. Jesus called his disciples friends (John 15); this friendship was marked by love, truth and grace. All this to say, Calvin found friendship to be rooted in love, understood through the gospel, and characterized by time, intentionality and intimacy.
Calvin had a wide variety of friendships. Some of Calvin’s closest friends included Martin Bucer, Guillaume Farel, Henry Bullinger and Philip Melanchthon. Bucer and Farel shared a particularly warm friendship with Calvin in comparison to his relationship with Bullinger and Melanchthon. Bucer and Farel served as mentors for Calvin, and he developed a love for them in light of this. Yet at one point, Calvin said he wanted to release all his “fury” on Farel. This comes as no surprise. Even the best of friends have moments of frustration and anger. Bullinger and Melanchthon, however, disagreed with Calvin often, which led to several annoyances in their friendship. Still, Calvin proved to be a friend that loved and cared for his companions. Their belief in the gospel served as the foundation of their friendship, and they valued faithfulness, truth, love and humility in their relationships.
I fear that our culture, and particularly the church, has far too often been satisfied with shallow friendships often lived through social media. I believe much of this is because of our desire to protect ourselves rather than to love others. We control our image, and we become both star and spectator. A key component to Christian discipleship is friendship — a genuine love for another person that seeks his or her good. This approach requires a loss of stardom and spectating and requires humility and service. I believe Calvin helps us in fostering and developing Christ-centered friendships, and I am confident we all can grow in cultivating deeper friendships. I am convinced that if Christians will see all their relationships in light of the gospel and act on those relationships through the power of the Holy Spirit, we will see a great movement of the gospel and the grand display of Christian friendship.
AUTHOR’S BIO
Aaron Lumpkin, Campus Minister & Director of Faith and Service, graduated from Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. with his B.A. in Pastoral Leadership and Biblical Exposition. He attained his Master of Divinity from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and is pursuing a Ph.D. in Historical Theology from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Before coming to MBU, Lumpkin worked at Imago Dei Church in Raleigh, N.C. as the pastor for student discipleship.
